Thinking & planning….
Is it worth it?
Does anything ever go to plan anyway?
Isn’t unprepared, unpredictable and spontaneous more fun?
Is it fun when you are now two as a result of fun & lack of planning?
If only I had planned before.
If only I thought it through.
If only I wasn’t so careless.
If only I didn’t like to play such dangerous games.
Now I have to prevent or plan,
I have to kill or think and plan for someone that I created.
What about my other plans?
So you had time to make other plans?
Those plans came naturally?
Those plans were made without being a burden?
‘Like what’ I hear you ask?
Where I want to live!
What I want to save up for!
Who I want to be with!
I didn’t plan for the pregnancy though!
Nor did I plan for him to be the father of this baby!
Can I live with myself if I end this life which I helped create?
Can I live with him if I keep it?
Do I tell him?
Can I live with myself if I keep it?
Can I live with my child if I have it?
Will I resent it?
Whether I resent the child, or myself will the child suffer?
What about the rest of my plans which I did make?
The ones that I did think through!
The ones that I wasn’t willing to take risks about?
What now? What do I do?
You hear a lot in the news about teenage pregnancies. You hear from anti abortionists about people of all age ranges having unplanned pregnancies. I am very passionate about saving life, rather than, killing it. However, I am not naive enough to think that that’s all there is to it! Creating a life and making the child suffer because you wish you were never pregnant is cruel. However, how do you know how you’ll feel after giving birth? If you’re assaulted and are pregnant as a result is it fair on you keep the child? Is it the child’s fault? Does it need to be sacrificed? Is there another way?
Regardless of all this grey, unclear, complex stuff….mostly we have some control and some element of choice. Please be careful with your body. Be cautious about how much you drink so you don’t act out of character and regret it. Watch your drink so it can’t be spiked. Try not to get too drunk on love or lust. Use protection so it can be a memory, rather than, something that leads to emotional trauma.