It’s a funny thing isn’t it! Pronunciation of your name can mean the difference between whether you listen or not. Whether you know you are being spoken to or not. Mispronunciation can cause offence. Mispronunciation can be welcomed if you want to be accepted by a particular group, for example! Your name could be too traditional and you may feel singled out. It may be from a different culture and you may wonder why you don’t have a name like the rest of your siblings, cousins etc. All this and this is only the tip of the iceburg.
However, it’s your name right? Just say, you’ve grown up with your name. You may have 2, 3 or even more names in your full name.
When you get married should this change?
It depends on the reason right?
So why is there an expectation that women should change their surname when they get married?
I did a bit of research and according to one website it all came about to ensure the protection of family and wealth, to express the designation of a new life direction & acknowledge God’s presence in and endorsement of the marriage.
Someone said asked me “why not change your name?” When I explained some alternate views he said I was attached to my name and that wasn’t good. Is he not attached to the idea that women should change their name. What if the man had to change their name? Would they agree? Would their only argument be “but the woman should do this, not the man!”
Someone else told me that it was done to show who owns the woman. Her father owned her before marriage but he has now ‘given’ her away to her husband. Thus she should change her name to reflect her new owner.
Here are 2 people’s views about the tradition of the woman changing her name after marriage.
This website lists the various options re name changes after marriage. It’s interesting! Have a look
My views: –
I’m got married a few months ago and I kept my name. Why? In my mind, I’ve had my name all my life and I can’t see a good enough reason to change it. Why do I need to change my identity?
I’d also like to keep my name because my dad passed away a few years ago and I am his only child so it’s sentimental.
Also, I guess there’s a sense of attachment.
Earlier this month I heard someone say they’d like to keep their name for networking purposes. They’re known by their ‘birth surname’ at work. For me, it’s not a work issue but I’ve been involved in a lot of work in the community and I’m ‘known’ as Heena Modi. When I was married before, I did change my name and very few remembered me with my ‘new’ surname. Someone even said ‘You’ll always be Heena Modi to me.’ So another reason to keep my name. It’s how people know me and remember me.
I am however, happy to change my title to Mrs.
Does it have to be a big thing! If someone sends us an invitation and they write to Mr. and Mrs. Shah, I won’t have a problem with it. If we get received at a hotel and I get called Mrs. Shah I don’t and won’t feel the need to correct them. It’s more for me!
What do you think? If you’re not married and you are a lady do you think you will change your surname? If you are a gent, will you want your wife to change accept your surname?