Promise Yourself by Christian D. Larson

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear, and to happy to permit the
presence of trouble.

The Optimist Creed, from The Optimist International

Different ways to use this poem.

Here is a short story with a beautiful message which was sent to me by Deena Shah.

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
“Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.”
The little girl said, “No, Dad. You hold my hand.”
“What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father.
“There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl.
“If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.But if you hold my hand,
I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.”

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.

Do you know about this march?

I think it’s so exciting! Empowering. For me, it also shows that there’s hope. That people are willing to be honest, open and transparent about what they want and don’t want. All too often there seems to be an increasing pattern, a culture of not being transparent. This is a refreshing change!

So why are we marching?

• Eliminating the deficit in just four years is a savage timetable that does not give economic growth the opportunity to raise the nation’s tax take. Indeed the deep cuts promised will depress the economy making deeper cuts necessary to meet this timetable.
• Raising four pounds through cuts for every pound raised through tax – and doing most of this through a rise in VAT that hits the poor and those on middle income the most – is deeply unfair. The recession was made in the finance sector, yet banks and those now enjoying gigantic bonuses once again, are not being asked to make a fair contribution.

Yet none of these policies were put to the British people at the election, indeed we were told that there was no need for cuts in front-line services.

People round the country are already campaigning against these deep, rapid cuts. Students have shown their opposition to cuts, the ends of EMAs and increases in fees. Parents and teachers have opposed cuts in school building. School sport, libraries and public woodlands all now have strong defenders. Few towns now don’t have their own campaign group.

The TUC’s March for the Alternative has two key aims.

1. First we want to give a national voice to all those affected by the cuts. This will be a huge event that in its breadth and support shows just how much opposition there is to the government’s programme. It will bring together public service workers and those who depend on good public services. Those involved in national campaigns, and those defending what is special in their own community.
2. Second we want to show that people reject the argument that there is no alternative. Of course the recession did damage to our economy. But these deep rapid cuts are not the best way to solve our problems, and may well make them worse.

That is why it is the March for the Alternative – an alternative in which rich individuals and big companies have to pay all their tax, that the banks pay a Robin Hood tax and on in which we strain every sinew to create jobs and boost the sustainable economic growth that will generate the prosperity which is the only long term way to close the deficit and reduce the nation’s debt.

Read here about why others are marching in their own words!

Here is a poem that Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to share her “beauty tips.” It was read at her funeral years later.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

I am blogging about this because I felt SO proud, warm and full of hope on Saturday 18th December 2010.

Suraj, mum and I went out shopping. When we left it wasn’t snowing and if it was forecasted, we didn’t know about it! Otherwise, perhaps we wouldn’t have gone. Perhaps not. Anyway, we were in Harrow Weald and it started snowing.

The snow wasn’t settling at all so we didn’t fret. However, when we looked again, the road was covered! The snowfall had changed and it was now very different to how it was 20 minutes before!

We rushed what we were doing and we left as soon as we could.

When we were on our way home we saw several people who were skidding or getting stuck.

We saw a Jeepy type of car with a flashing light overtake us and figured it had a medic in it. However, on our journey, we saw the car a few times and we soon realised that they were helping people out by towing them.

When we were near Rayners Lane, where the bike shop is; there was a guy walking in the road. He didn’t have an illuminous jacket on, he wasn’t part of any company, he was a ‘normal’ person & guess what he was doing? He was present and ready. For what? To help. He did nothing else except walk and be on the lookout for cars that needed pushing.

It was so nice to see!

Unfortunately when we got closer to the end of the 1 way system by Rayners Lane there was one van in particular, which was having difficulty with steering and skidding. A few people overtook the car. Others beeped. Some went passed slowly and gave dirty looks as they went. Nobody got out to help push the car. But then…1 passer by offered to steer the car while the owner of the van pushed and another passer by helped too.

Did you come across any positive experiences like this?

This song is from the film Jodha Akbar.

When the Sufis sing this song the emperor himself gets up and joins them whilst the Sufis dance. He appears intoxicated in this Bhakti. There’s something about it, regardless of the faith that I follow; which makes me feel at peace, hopeful and divine.

If it helps I’ve pasted the lyrics below

I received this by email. I think it’s spot on in many ways and truly helpful. What do you think?

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: “We’re in love”; I believe this is the 1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.
Though this may sound “not politically correct”, there’s a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: “You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone”; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust – i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished”; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION ..3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right “;. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve”; them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse” If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

Another perspective…

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance..
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention…Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?

Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you…the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye”; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them.

You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life”; you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:

1. Trust

2. Communication

3. Intimacy

4. A sense of humor

5. Sharing tasks

6. Some getaway time without business or children

7. Daily exchanges (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)

8. Sharing common goals and interests

9. Giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure

10. Giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.