I wrote this after overhearing or being present when people I knew were gossiping about who had got divorced or separated from who! As they speculated about why it had happened or whether they thought it was ‘on the cards’ or not; I remember feeling sad and repulsed at the same time. Sad because they were tearing these people apart with their unhelpful chit chat and repulsed because anyone in their family went through something similar, they would not want others gossiping in the same way!

So I did what I often do. I wrote about it and hoped that some readers would question ‘which one they are’ (reference to the last line) and even if they thought about this poem when they heard others talking in the same may; maybe they’d excuse themselves from it and silently protest. Or maybe they’d speak up about why it wasn’t OK; if they indeed thought it wasn’t. Or perhaps have more compassion when faced with situations like these.

Anyway here’s to hoping 🙂


Oh no!
Poor guy. Poor girl!
So much of it happening nowadays. Even in our community.

Do you think it was because he cheated?
I heard that she wasn’t at all educated but he was. That must be it.
Her parents really interfered & his were against them having a love marriage.
They didn’t have any children and after so long. Nobody ever waits that long.
Yes, there must have been issues there.
I heard that he didn’t approve of her drinking. Maybe it got too much for him.

An alternative view. A different conversation.
I feel sad that they are going through all this but I hope that they are better off apart.
I’m sure they considered everything from all angles and have not made the decision lightly.
I wish them luck and hope they achieve what they want in the future.

Which one are YOU?

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Chirag Bajaria · March 10, 2008 at 8:24 pm

never buckle under the pressure of anyone else’s opinion. if you do, you have boundary issues. go see a psychologist, they’ll explain how to fix your boundary so that anyone else’s gossip doesn’t get to you. that way you only get news from the person that matters and it’s straight from the horse’s mouth. talk often, talk lots and reasons for breaking up become fewer and seldom. There’s lots of it going on because a) the population of the world is bigger than it’s ever been (and growing) and b) because we feel we have more choices and less satisfaction. Even the educated fail to recognise what’s good in their life and what’s a mere distraction – and thus they lose out on what really matters for something fleeting.

Heena Modi · March 24, 2008 at 5:26 pm

I’ve not heard of this boundary stuff before. Thanks for enlightening me about it. I think lots of people nay need some help with this as we are so preoccupied with what people think of what we look like, weight, what we say, financial status etc.! Not good really is it?
In terms of gossip, I guess we need to accept that people will talk and all we can do is manage how we handle it and make sure we do not fall into the same trap of becoming gossips!
Re not recognising what you have. I agree. It’s harder to see when there’s so much that you may not have, I guess 🙁

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