Have you heard about that guy who was the Vice President of the NYA some years back? Yeah he and his wife split up. I hear it was because she wouldn’t go out much in the community. You know, events and stuff. No, it’s because he hurt her. I hear that she wouldn’t listen to him or anyone else. What are they doing now? Have the come back home?

Have you heard about Jaimin?
No, why, what’s happened? He only got married a month ago and she’s pregnant already. Do you think she was pregnant before they got married? Who knows? All these modern relationships!

What about Rinki? Did you hear about her? Oh no. I like her. What’s happened? Well, she’s been going out with a non – Indian and has fallen for him! Push has come to shove and they’ve parted. That’s good isn’t it? Now she can settle with one of ours. She won’t be any good to anyone at this rate. She’s had a nervous breakdown because of it all.

You know Anil’s such a good boy. Why? He’s done the right thing. He’s got married and is staying at home. Really? Is that what you’ve heard? He’s not taking care of home! He’s making their life very difficult. I had no idea.

You heard about Bijal? Which one? The one from Tanzania. She’s about 60 years old. Oh I know. What about her? Well, she’s got a problem with her son in law being non – Indian, she has a problem with her nephew marrying someone who’s been divorced before but she was engaged herself, before she got married to Ronak. No? Really? Yep. And then she left him for someone else that she was in love with! What a hypocrite.

Can you visualise these types of conversations? Do you know many people who share this type of news? It’s very tempting to hear the latest. To find out how someone is. To know who’s been hurt and how, especially if you’re attached to the one who was hurt. However, please consider these things: –
What do the people sharing the news have to gain from talking about these things?
If they are doing it about all these people will they not do the same about you and your loved ones?
What goes around comes around.
Can you truly keep ‘your stuff’ private so nobody can do the same to you?
Is the content of these conversations helping your mind or hindering it from focusing on what’s important?

But the world is full of it. Full of this type of news. It makes it to the front page of various newspapers & magazines, soaps are made about them. Books are written giving many gory details.

So what can you do?

How can you be true to yourself?
You can walk away from these conversations to ensure you are not part of it in any way
You can support others who re being spoken about by changing the subject or asking, calmly, why this ‘news’ is good to share and debate whether it should be done or not.
You could be present but stay silent

The stance you can take doesn’t have to be confrontational or even verbally expressive. There are many ways to express an opinion without speaking.

What do you think?

Is it worth considering?

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