I’ve become increasingly aware of how much I compare, and that often, it happened without me even realising! It also seems that it either serves no real purpose to my situation, it hurts or makes me crave what I don’t have. It takes me away from being grateful for what I have.
Can you see yourself doing that?
Here are a few examples of when I’ve noticed myself or others comparing.
The grass on the other side!
- That couple is so united and aligned. They really have each other’s back.
- She’s living it up since taking an early retirement.
- He’s so strong and flexible; so healthy.
- She’s so active and super fit.
- They have such a nice car.
- They have so much space in their home.
- Their garden is beautiful and caters for all members of the family.
- He has so much money, he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.
- They’re always going away on holiday.
- They live in a lovely warm country.
- She’s always warm and doesn’t have to layer up.
- They’re so lucky that they can send their kids to private school.
- He’s so lucky to be fed homemade food twice or more every day.
- His work-life balance is awesome!
- She knows so many famous people.
- He’s so lucky that businesses send him samples so frequently.
- They are so lucky that they can work from home so often.
- His son takes such good care of him.
- Her husband dotes on her and always puts her first.
Did any of these remind you of situations that you’ve noticed or heard about?
Is the grass always greener?
For each of these situations, there’ll be the stuff that we don’t see. This may be because we’re blinded by seeing what we don’t have i.e. what we want. It might be because the ‘faults’ or ‘less pleasant’ parts are kept private. The reason that we only see a certain part of the picture may even be because we are different i.e I may be happy in a particular situation, but someone else I know may hate it, and if we look at things with that ‘lens’ we won’t be able to see how what we want is actually resented by someone else.
The point is, someone will always look as if they have it better than you, and while it may be true, they’ll probably be experiencing remorse and discontent but we are unaware of it.
How can we make ‘our’ patch of grass greener?
- Can you find a way to remind yourself of what you have to be grateful for?
- Is it possible to create a shift in your mind so that you’re happy for others even if they have things that you don’t?
- Can you positively accept what you have or ‘lack’?
- Is it possible to embrace the belief that everyone has dealt their own hand of cards, and that we are shaping our next hand in this life?