Through air
I was thinking about airflow recently, and it occurred to me that it was a good way to describe healthy relationships.
Picture two rooms on opposite sides of a house, each with a balcony door facing the other. When both doors stand wide open, fresh air rushes straight through. It pushes out the stale, stuffy air in seconds. It’s effortless, renewing, and constant.
It’s efficient
It’s fast
It’s nourishing
There’s no blockage
The pace is natural
It’s not slowed down by anything
It seems to me that this is how a relationship can work really well. Each door represents the people in the relationship. This relationship could be between siblings, friends, lovers and so on.
Both of the doors are important. Both of them need to be open. If one door is fully open, and the other is only half open, the stale air will linger. It will remain longer than it needs to. Musty feelings will develop, and removing them will require more effort, more tolerance, more patience and more time. It will also tip the balance in terms of effort. The door that’s fully open will need to work harder.
I don’t think it’s sustainable for one person to keep their door fully open while the other one doesn’t.
Keeping your door open doesn’t mean you’re not protected. It doesn’t mean there are no boundaries. It just means you’re being proactive in keeping the relationship healthy, attentive and focused on the things that make it work, as well as those that don’t; and protective of working on something that means a lot to you.
What do these doors symbolise for you? Here are some examples.
Transparency
What we are working towards: sharing the truth proactively, i.e. being forthcoming
What we want to remove: hiding things through silence or sharing whilst holding back
New experiences
What we are working towards: being open to new things
What we want to remove: sticking with a familiar routine or pattern
Honesty
What we are working towards: being truthful when answering questions
What we want to remove: the festering of lies
Bending
What we are working towards: considering the other person’s needs
What we want to remove: being self-centred
What do you think?
Can you relate to this analogy?
Can you apply it to any of your relationships?
