Nearly a year ago, Suraj went to India for a long stay.
I was proud of him for deciding to take this spiritual journey because I had made a similar long trip a year or so before.
It was amazing and I would recommend it to anyone.
The trip was planned so that we would have moved into our new home, settled in and be fully unpacked long before he left.
Due to a delay which meant the buyer wasn’t ready; we moved into our new home and he left the next day.
I had another reason to be proud! He worked at a pace I have not witnessed before. 🙂 He saw to it that we unpacked nearly all the boxes before he left and he helped me position anything that was left in a way so that I could grab it easily on my own.
I have lived alone before and I’ve been fine but this time it was different.
What changed?
Why did I feel that I needed him to enable me to manage?
Had I got so used to having a shared responsibility for things, that I perceived doing things alone as unmanageable, tiresome and painful?
Once I got over the self pity and frustration; I got thinking!
What about others who live alone and have to manage?
What about my Mum who was suddenly left on her own in a 3 bedroom home when my Dad passed away? She is in the same position but on a more permanent basis!
I suddenly felt feeble and decided that I need to self-up!
I found strength in reminding myself about stories in the Jain Scriptures.
– No matter how others try to empathise, we experience things alone.
– Individually, we all have the ability and strength to manage whatever life throws at us.
So I ‘just’ needed to find my strength or create it.
I decided to remind myself of this when I felt negative about being alone.
I can’t that say I managed straight away but less than a year on, I’ve noticed that I am more self sufficient, which is great.
I don’t feel like I’m being forced to be this way, because it was a journey I decided to make myself. If it felt forced, there’s a risk of feelings of resentment arising.
It has become natural so I don’t have to think about it too.
So I am hoping that this journey continues and that I maintain what I’ve achieved so far and more.
I hope you can use this to inspire you create or find the strength to cope with whatever you (currently) find difficult.
