Observations that have left me feeling confused, lost and without hope
How can you be so gentle and yet so harsh?
Why are you assertive at times but weak when it matters?
How can you switch from being talkative and engaging to silent and guarded?
What makes you alternate between being enthusiastic and lifeless?
You can be so kind. What makes you become so mean?
I have experienced your generosity. I don’t understand it when you’re closed and stingy.
You can be overly selfless. Yet I recall feeling despair when you behave selfishly.
How can one person be so considerate and yet so self obsessed?
I have often found myself feeling at a loss after noticing the paradoxes in our behaviour, the way we make decisions, the conclusions we form, and the consequences that follow.
The thing is…I am far from perfect, and these things that I notice in others, is a reflection of how I have been, how I might be now, or it could be a sign of what I may become. I am not untouched by these contradictions, nor am I above them.
What to do from now on?
I need to remember that we are driven by different things and we are complex creatures. Thus what may seem clear and obvious, usually isn’t. Some of the things that effect what people say and how they behave include, being in physical pain, feeling scared, grieving, joy, jealousy, hunger, anxiety, location, specific vocabulary, the vibe they get from others and so on. How can I begin to figure out how someone else feels, or why they’re behaving in a certain way? I can’t! Therefore, I mustn’t judge.
I need to find a way to remain untouched, equanimous, compassionate, and witness what’s going on without getting pulled into the temporary dramas that usually come with them.
Emotions and situations change, and before we know it, that person will be wearing a different face, just like I do when things change for me! Reminding myself of this will help me be kind to myself and even kinder to others.